its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
