Sponge bath it is.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
