please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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