dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
