i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Tornado booty call.. dedication
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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