All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You took a bar mat shot.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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