I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
