is your mom at the bar?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
