people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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