I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
