i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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