why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
