i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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