So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
