so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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