So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
