Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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