DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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