Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
