shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
