Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize