I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
