I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
