I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
