I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
