I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
