good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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