i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
