I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
