all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
