shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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