i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
