I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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