well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Less talking, more tequila
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
