she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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