i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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