i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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