two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
