so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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