Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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