Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize