Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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