i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
