it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
