One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
