morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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