Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize