i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
