we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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