We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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