Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
