I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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