my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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