Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
