Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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