ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
This house was built for laser tag.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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