so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
