I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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