I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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