It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
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not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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