just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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