I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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