You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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