Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
