How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
