If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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