he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
