..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
