Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
